Starting over is hard. Let’s get that straight right off. Most people have started over at some point in their lives. Some because they wanted to and others because they had no choice.
Don’t Know How You Did It
A couple of years ago I left a job I had been at for 10 years. It was time. Unfortunately I got conned by someone that simply wanted to use the knowledge I had.
She offered me a job managing her store. I worked 24/7 for a month to set up the new store. Inventory, purchasing, POS system, scheduling system. Two months after opening she let me go so she could hire a 20 year old that wouldn’t expect her to actually care about her business. The 20 year old (and everyone else) didn’t last long either.
The stress level was intense. One of my friends said she didn’t know how I did it. I really didn’t have a choice.
Fortunately I had been there before.
10 years before I had been downsized from a corporation where I had worked for 30 years. My bosses hobby was firing people. She let go of at least one person every year.
On one level I was upset, on another I was grateful. You are never as free as when you can start over. I got let go on Wednesday and started working at the job I had for 10 years on the Saturday. It’s what I do. I am a survivor.
I had been on stress leave shortly before I was downsized. Constant abuse does that. While I was on leave I started to journal. Initially it was a “my boss is a &*&%^” rant. Ultimately it became a book about loving yourself. Buried Treasure:Finding Enchantment Within. Published by Vibrant Publishing. Available at Reflections Books in Coquitlam. (Do you like that little bit of self promotion)
When I was downsized I took a look at what I really wanted to do. I was already a Spiritual Healer and an Herbalist. I decided to become a Certified Hypnotherapist. Hypnosis is amazing. I had quit smoking in a single session 14 years before so I knew it could change your life. I had a private office for a few years and still do occasional sessions.
The key to starting over is to know that change is inevitable. Perfect has a different definition at various points in your life. You may think something is the perfect fit for you. A few years later the fit may not be so good.
Never think for a moment that you have failed because something doesn’t fit any more. Please just realize that you have learned all there was for you to learn in that situation. Now it’s time for you to start over with something new. Nothing is ever a waste of time as long as you gained some knowledge from the experience.
The best advice I can give on dealing with the traumatic change of losing a job or needing to change jobs is take some time to think. Think of all the things you love to do. Maybe this time look for something you love rather than the same kind of job you just left.
I tell all of my clients employed or unemployed that are looking for work to create an aspect list. You absolutely have to have the top two items as
- I make $xxxx.xx per month
- I get along well with everyone
Include these because if you use an hourly rate you may just get one hour of work. My friend created her perfect job but forgot the getting along item and had a horrible time until a staff shuffle.
If there is some part of your work you love by all means add it to the list. The rest of the list should be more focused on how you want your work life to feel. Things like “I am happy to go to work every day”. “My job is so much fun.” “I have a big corner office.” “I set my own schedule.”
The key to having this work is to put what you want it to be like on the list. It is NOT a list of tasks. If you put something on one day and then think yuck, by all means remove it.
I recommend to my clients that once they have a reasonable length list, put it away someplace. Don’t check it every day to see if it has appeared.
This is generally a subtle thing. You are working away a couple of months down the road and you find the list or you realize that this is exactly what you had on the list.
This has worked for my friends and myself. The quickest was a client that thought I was nuts. She decided to make a list anyhow even though a “crazy” person told her to do it. Two weeks later I got an email from her. She had made her list and tucked it away. Next thing she knew her friends on Facebook had found her a job that matched both what I told her and what she had on her list.
Why Not Create Something New
I tend to be an optimist. In the 1990’s I read Louise Hay You Can Heal Your Life and Shakti Gawain Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life From these two ladies I learned that I could create my life.
Whether you believe that we affect what we observe or affirmations are the way to go you are putting your energy toward a change.
After the last store I decided I wanted to find my passion. Years ago I watched a show called The Astronomers. It has always stuck in my mind. Not what they were looking for but how passionate they were. Their entire lifestyle was centered on their passion.
I have always done “crafts”. I really dislike that name. It sounds like a put down to the ability, creativity and inspiration of the person doing it.
I watched a few shows, saw some yarn bombing and realized that I had been passionate about fibre arts since I was 9 years old.
I tried a craft fair but was not happy with it. It is too constricting. I want to create for the love of creation. If people like what I do and want to buy it then great. If not I can always gift it or donate it.
So my next adventure is to follow my passion. We shall see where this takes me.