Fear is such a powerful thing. Many times we don’t even know we have it. It’s what holds us back from fulfilling our dreams. It’s what prevents us from creating the life we truly want.
In all the new age talk about manifesting, we have learned that we need focus. We need to have the thought and the feeling. We need to take action. What we haven’t learned is the price we pay for fear.
Our dreams are so much brighter in our heads. We can dress them up with flowers and fancy curlicues. We can gloss over any unpleasant points and see our dreams clearly. Nothing is uncomfortable.
Why do we sit back and let our dreams waste away when all we really need to do is take the first step?
Most people believe that fear of failure is what holds us back. I believe it is fear of success that is the most devastating fear that we as humans have.
I have clients and friends that have incredible success at changing their lives. Right up until they hit the fear wall. The question “who will I be if I don’t have this issue?” It is actually possible to see them hit this wall and recoil.
Personally, I know I have this fear. What would happen if I actually change my life to the one I want? I am in the process of finding that out. Dealing with any fear that comes up and believe me, they come up.
It’s so much easier to put it off for another day. It is so much easier to blame lack of opportunity or circumstances. Blaming people and circumstances outside ourselves is what most people have been taught in western society.
Taking responsibility for our lives is truly what we need to do to overcome fear. Realizing that we are responsible for the GOOD in our lives as well as the bad is vital to moving forward. Why do I emphasize good? So many people that I see on a daily basis are more than willing to take responsibility for the bad. They forget that there are actually good things in their lives and they were the ones that put them there. It wasn’t luck, it was their ability to dream, act on the dream and receive it that brought these things into their lives.
I see so many people trying to “manifest” the life they want that I have begun to dislike the word. It smacks of having a fairy godmother or genie someplace that will magically fulfill all of their wishes.
The truth is, everyone has created the exact lives they are living. That being said, everyone has the ability to create the lives they want. So what stops them? Fear.
In order to have the life you want, you have to have your dreams clearly in your head. You need as much detail as you can get. You then have to realize that getting to that dream is a journey. Most times the path to your dream is nothing like you imagine it. You see a clear path when in actuality, it is an extremely convoluted route.
Many times you won’t know that the opportunities being presented to you are the path to your dreams. The job offer is for a job that you really aren’t that thrilled to take, etc. The people who achieve their dreams are the ones that take the opportunities. Perhaps that job offer is only to get you to a date, time and location that you need to be at in order to find the right path.
Think of it this way. If your dream is to win the lottery you must either go online and buy a ticket, or get dressed and drive to the store to buy it. Getting up doesn’t seem like it would be important. Driving to the place you have been many times before doesn’t seem important. They are both vital to your ability to buy the winning ticket.
Why aren’t we all winners? Fear. We have the fantasy of what we would do if we won but somewhere inside our reality sensor is buzzing. We know deep down inside that winning money means taking on the responsibility of dealing with it.
Do we blow it and end up back where we were? Do we manage it for the long term? You now need to deal with all those accountants, banks charities and friends that show up because you have money. I have a number of friends that won the lottery and lost friends.
The external fears of the downside of having your dreams are one thing. You can acknowledge them and maybe even get beyond them. The internal fears are the tough ones. “what if I don’t deserve it?” “Other people need it more than me.” “What will I do now?” Just a few of the fear questions.
When I look at the people I know that are successful, one thing stands out. They are taking action! They are doing something with the opportunity they have been given. Most times they aren’t even aware of where the opportunity can take them. They are simply doing the best they can and following their passion.
One friend that I have, has been given opportunity after opportunity, the second she asks for them. However, if she actually has to put in some effort, she decides that this cannot possibly be what she is supposed to do. So she just doesn’t bother.
It is easy to dream but fear will always hold you back if you let it. One of the biggest fears we have is “what if I make a mistake?” It is guaranteed that you will have to learn some things when you begin to live your dreams. You will have to face some uncomfortable moments to get from point A to point B.
Is that dream worth having? If the answer is yes then you will need to take the first step.