Life on the Edge Shyness and Empathy

Most people that know me now would have a hard time believing that I am extremely shy. What they take as standoffishness or superiority is simply my way of coping.

Thanks to a lot of acting classes I took in high school and a few years as an account manager, I am able to bluff my way through most situations. However, put me in a large gathering and I become mute and play with the dog or cat. Helping in the kitchen is my way of hiding.

I read an article about a city council member from Vancouver that always felt she over intellectualized jokes. Yup I’ve been there, done that. Small talk is not my forte.

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One of the reasons for this shyness is empathy. At least it is for me. I am an empath. This means I actually feel you.

Some of my clients and even the odd stranger that comes into the store are astounded when I ask what is wrong. They look the same but they feel different. I can even tell them how they feel.

The life of an empath is difficult. I know many people that try different methods to shield themselves so they don’t end up taking other people’s emotions home.

I train people that come to the store in how to protect themselves from this ability.

Empaths have problems with crowds. Malls are particularly difficult for them. They are completely exhausted from going shopping for an hour. All of their energy goes to processing the feelings coming off of the people around them.

The other issue that empaths face, is people telling them things. They don’t just have various people sharing a bad or good day. Empaths get people sharing the graphic details of their sex lives, health, addictions etc. This isn’t so bad if they are in a place where they expect it. However, when your waitress shares her wild monkey sex story while you are having dinner with a friend, it gets to be a bit much.

What to do to protect yourself

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When I took my Spiritual Healing training years ago, I learned a basic protection which I teach everyone.

Prior to leaving the house close your eyes and visualize a gold coin, or shield, or corset over your solar plexus. It only takes a few seconds and it allows you to give energy but doesn’t allow anyone to drain you.

I taught this to one of my anxiety clients. She said she didn’t really notice anything when she put it on. She really noticed it when she forgot to put it on. She came home exhausted when she didn’t do the protection.

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A protection I invented is an Empath Shield. Basically I started visualizing myself in a bubble of teflon. For the youngsters, teflon is the non-stick coating on pans. It gradually morphed into kyanite. Kyanite is a stone that absorbs negativity and sends it back where it came from.

The final protection is well known in the New Age community. Surround yourself with white light. So prior to going out you use your gold shield, your kyanite bubble and white light.

If you still feel that you are carrying around too much of other people’s energy try a Shaman bath. I don’t remember where I read about this but it feels great.

1Tbsp – 1/4 cup Baking Soda
1Tbsp – 1/4 cup Sea Salt
1Tbsp – 1/4 cup Epsom salts
The amounts are dependent on how big a tub you have.

Put these ingredients into a warm bath and submerge fully. Spend as long as you want in the bath but make sure you shower off the excess salts before you get out. To me this feels sparkly.